Tuesday, November 07, 2006


Gordon stared stoically ahead.

His lovely eyes and his expression were lost behind the smeared lens of his glasses. I gave him a quick and dry summary of "The Hotel Event" as we later referred to it, while we walked toward his car.

"So...you DIDN'T take the money? Is that what you are saying?" As I am eternally grateful to those who know how to speak concisely, I answered in kind.

"No. I did not."

We sat in silence as he mulled this over.

"Why"? He asked calmly.

"Well...I didn't actually do anything to him except, well, actually HURT him. Not in the way he wanted. His face was BLEEDING Gordon. He was pissed. It just didn't seem sportsman like."

"Ava, you should have taken the money. Or at least half of it. This is all about the money. It took time for both of us to drive here and back. If he decided not to go through with the session that is his problem.'

'It just didn't feel right. Besides, you said the SM community in Boston is small and people talk. I don't want potential clients to think I am a two bit gypsy hustler, right?"

"Time is money. That is one of the major rules of commerce. You are a commodity that is marketing itself. Don't ever forget that. Your every action should be aimed at making a profit. Your every thought should be focused on how to advance your opportunity to make money. You could be a very successful entrepreneur, but you don't have a lot of time to fuck around."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning you are beautiful and sexy but you are no longer young. There are always newer and younger talent coming up. If you are serious about this, you better get cracking. You have the advantage of being smart and Dommes have a longer shelf life than escorts, if they are intelligent. As you know, most of this is psychological."

"Jesus." I muttered, feeling thoroughly chastised yet insulted.

"Well, it's true." He shrugged and started the car.

"I understand what you are saying and I'll make a note of it" I answered finally. `

We drove back to my apartment, more or less in silence.

As we pulled up & I was getting out of the car, Gordon said "Hey don't feel that bad about it. Stick with it. You'll see, you are a natural at this."

I shot him a look of disbelief & slammed the door shut, feeling like a failure. Apparently a rapidly aging failure.

I immediately got into my pajamas and applied an anti aging face mask. While it dried, I rolled a big fattie and sat on the couch, contemplating my dwindling options.